It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
