Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
