they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Randomize
