Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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