thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize