capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I look excited, but its just a facade.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
