i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
