and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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