i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
