Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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