hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
