Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
