My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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