remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
