wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
