I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
