Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
