Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
How did I end up in the pool?!
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I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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