I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
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if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
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