i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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