When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I need water and some morals
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