what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
