He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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