As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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