I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
my nose is crying tears of wow.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
