Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
