i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
