I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
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..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
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Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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