Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize