We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
