just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
