My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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