you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
