Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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