The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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