thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
