She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I think people are normalizing furries
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
