My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
