I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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