whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
