My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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