I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
