i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
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I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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