what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
