drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
