marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Someone shit on the floor
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize