Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
No stitches, just platelets and will power
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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