I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
