I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
