No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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