Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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