I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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