I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
