he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
