i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
