People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
