he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
