I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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