We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
