I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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